closed chapter

Yes we shared a love story like no other a few months that seemed like a lifetime a bond never to be broken but please understand when I say I will never tell another love interest about we shared. If they see your pictures on social networks I will simply say you were a very close friend. Not because I'm ashamed of what we shared but simply because I like to keep it sacred and untainted. 

I've shared a few stories about you and us with other people (perspectives) and all it did was tear them or us apart. I don't know if it's because they feel like they can never live up to what we had or the shoes are too big to fill but that's the thing I don't want them to. 

I want something new. I want love, happiness, faithfulness  and freedom to be ourselves. I don't want another you cause there will only be one. 

I will always cherish what we had but it's time to let the idea of us go too. 

My speech on my sisters graduation

Wow I would first like to congratulate my sister in this huge accomplishment even more so when I know exactly what you went through to get here it surely wasn't easy. 

You are and always have been my role model, ok wait maybe not during some of my teenage years when you seemed to much of a goody tooshoes, but again as a young adult I gathered my thoughts and I realised I dnt need to look up to a celebrity when I have my very own inspiration right here and even better coz u are my sister.

When you first went to china I was in awe of u and probably told all my friends that MY sister was studying in china and then I got to visit you while u were there and actually see u in ur element oh my I felt like the luckiest lil sister ever who has an older sister who can speak mandarine and I was just like I gotta be able to do that and finally when u were doing ur final touches of ur thesis and the adversities faced and seeing u pull through them tears or not, u have got no idea what that as instilled in me, if I ever think of giving up again I will surely go bck to those days and see how you really gave it ur all and eventually came out a victor. 

Sisters please know that I love you and I'm very excited for the great things God has planned for you in the near future. 

Here again

I don’t know what to say except: I do love you. I don’t know why I keep doing this to you, to me, to us. Why does love have so many challenges and what type of people hang on? I'm too weak for love I've concluded. I may try to hold on but I think my worst fear is that it may all be for nothing therefore I chose to end it now. I'm not as strong as you are

This all hurts, its hurts real bad. There is a lump in my throat as I write this. I cant imagine life with anyone else it just wont be the same. You've stuck with me thru all my bullshit I've learnt so much from you I just wish patience was one of them. Do I really want to burn this bridge? you said I should help you be a better man, but I think it is I who needs help. I cant help but think i'm unworthy  or i'm not mature enough for you.

If I ever love again it will be all too soon. No man can measure to you. I thought I've loved before but nothing compares to this. 

Who would have thought I would go so long without sexual intercourse.  Honestly I didn’t think I could do it. I was on some “the first guy I get to jump I’m on it” guess someone must have tamed me. I mean I’m in a building with a lot Africans and we all know what they say about African dick size huh.

While we are on the issues of dick size, I have a Zambian friend who told me just this week that she would never jump in the sack with a South African because she reckons their dick size does not meet her standards, yea she said it. Well I’ve been on both ends of the stick (no pun intended) and I might just agree with her >hides< not to generalize or anything but hey my fellow South Africans have some catching up to do.

Well I am in China and I wouldn’t be doing myself any justice if I were to leave the country without trying some Asian blood, no rush though I’ll be here for quite some time. Finally I get to test the theory that states that Asians are the least gifted in that department…

Dear diary

Who would want to be with a girl like me? I mean all I do is nag and complain and find fault and get jealous and read into every little detail and live in a dream world and and and…the list goes on. Everything you don’t want in a girl I probably am. The only thing I’m good for is a shag! Even that I know I’m not the best there ever is but hey, I’m willing to try anything in that department. Oh and by far the worst thing about me are my insecurities (as this entry suggests).  So why me?  

The big "O"

Just last month my cousins and I decided to have a girl’s night out and we went to the sexpo.  We got ourselves the VIP tickets for the Friday evening.  The VIP tickets came with a goodie bag and one of my favourite things in it is the vibrator. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and go try this new gadget with my partner, even more so because I’ve always wanted to own one of these. Now this is a mini lip stick shaped vibrator but the power it possesses is amazing, or perhaps the person operating it is/was amazing (my boyfriend).

I got to my partners place just before midnight and without further ado we got down and dirty. And talk about phenomenal sex that was. The orgasm I experienced from that vibrator was just unbelievable. I’ve had orgasms before but non like this, it literally had me in tears.  I even thought I was going to squirt; yep that’s how intense it was. But luckily I didn’t I think that’s the most embarrassing thing ever and no I’ve never went through that experience before.

So basically ladies and gentlemen don’t trash something till you have tried it. It could be the complete opposite of what you expected. I tried the vibrator and “oh yessss” I plan on using it again.

 

know your body

So I met a really honest friend during my first year. She is so honest in fact that after just months of being friends she asked how bad should or does a punani smell. “Dzamn” you should have seen the look on my face, my eyes were wide open in shock. I asked her to rephrase the question and she sternly said “I know a virgina smells but how bad is bad?”

Now I didn’t know and still don’t know how to answer this question but I think every person knows their scent and when you think it doesn’t smell as it normally does then you should check with your Gp.

The reason I thought of this daring question is because I’m thinking of visiting my family doctor for a pap smear and I can’t imagine what they and gynaecologists go through when dealing with patients. I don’t blame some doctors who only do them (pap smears) in the morning. After a couple of hours in this heat...things are bound to get nasty.