Who would have thought I would go so long without sexual intercourse.  Honestly I didn’t think I could do it. I was on some “the first guy I get to jump I’m on it” guess someone must have tamed me. I mean I’m in a building with a lot Africans and we all know what they say about African dick size huh.

While we are on the issues of dick size, I have a Zambian friend who told me just this week that she would never jump in the sack with a South African because she reckons their dick size does not meet her standards, yea she said it. Well I’ve been on both ends of the stick (no pun intended) and I might just agree with her >hides< not to generalize or anything but hey my fellow South Africans have some catching up to do.

Well I am in China and I wouldn’t be doing myself any justice if I were to leave the country without trying some Asian blood, no rush though I’ll be here for quite some time. Finally I get to test the theory that states that Asians are the least gifted in that department…

Dear diary

Who would want to be with a girl like me? I mean all I do is nag and complain and find fault and get jealous and read into every little detail and live in a dream world and and and…the list goes on. Everything you don’t want in a girl I probably am. The only thing I’m good for is a shag! Even that I know I’m not the best there ever is but hey, I’m willing to try anything in that department. Oh and by far the worst thing about me are my insecurities (as this entry suggests).  So why me?  

The big "O"

Just last month my cousins and I decided to have a girl’s night out and we went to the sexpo.  We got ourselves the VIP tickets for the Friday evening.  The VIP tickets came with a goodie bag and one of my favourite things in it is the vibrator. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and go try this new gadget with my partner, even more so because I’ve always wanted to own one of these. Now this is a mini lip stick shaped vibrator but the power it possesses is amazing, or perhaps the person operating it is/was amazing (my boyfriend).

I got to my partners place just before midnight and without further ado we got down and dirty. And talk about phenomenal sex that was. The orgasm I experienced from that vibrator was just unbelievable. I’ve had orgasms before but non like this, it literally had me in tears.  I even thought I was going to squirt; yep that’s how intense it was. But luckily I didn’t I think that’s the most embarrassing thing ever and no I’ve never went through that experience before.

So basically ladies and gentlemen don’t trash something till you have tried it. It could be the complete opposite of what you expected. I tried the vibrator and “oh yessss” I plan on using it again.

 

know your body

So I met a really honest friend during my first year. She is so honest in fact that after just months of being friends she asked how bad should or does a punani smell. “Dzamn” you should have seen the look on my face, my eyes were wide open in shock. I asked her to rephrase the question and she sternly said “I know a virgina smells but how bad is bad?”

Now I didn’t know and still don’t know how to answer this question but I think every person knows their scent and when you think it doesn’t smell as it normally does then you should check with your Gp.

The reason I thought of this daring question is because I’m thinking of visiting my family doctor for a pap smear and I can’t imagine what they and gynaecologists go through when dealing with patients. I don’t blame some doctors who only do them (pap smears) in the morning. After a couple of hours in this heat...things are bound to get nasty.  

You have hair where?

Ok so I’m a pretty hairy lady and as a result I shave every week. But I’ve had a burning question which I could never bring myself to ask anyone. “how far back does/should one shave when shaving your pubs?”  by how far back I mean as in when it gets to your ass crack (not all the way).

Actually for a while I thought I was the only one who had a bit of hair that far back until…ok I’m not going to tell that story.  To be honest the reason I haven’t removed that hair is because I can’t imagine myself having to remove it every time I shave. Then there is that myth that every time you shave your hair grows longer…lol nah hey.  Now ladies and gentlemen how far do you go?

Those three words

I watched a movie titled “How do you know” which is really about a woman trying to find out how does one know when he/she is in love? This is exactly what I’d like to know. I’m sure you’ve said “I love you” to most of the people you’ve dated but how many times did you really mean it?

 I’ve come to realise that while you are with that person you think you’re “in love” but probably aren’t. Just because they give u butterflies or make u laugh doesn’t mean its love. But then again what is love? Some say we tend to say “I love you” too soon in a relationship. “Eeeh” how soon is too soon?  Others say when you know, you know. Well I would really like to know now.

Image by Spreadshirt.com

Is it really just about hearing the words or would you rather be shown? Let’s not lie to ourselves here; the one honestly doesn’t make sense without the other. Hey if u feel you’re in love go right ahead and do what you got to do, but don’t be bummed if the feeling aint mutual >>awkward moment<<. 

My kindda guy

Truth be told most women don’t want a man they can walk all over. What is the point of having a partner if he is just going to agree with everything you say? Might as well get a child who will simply take instructions. On the other hand no one wants someone who will disagree with everything they say either. We need partners who can balance things out and therefore should be able to say “no” when necessary and “yes” where applicable.

Screw independence and what not a man still needs to be a man and thus needs some sense of authority. I’m a very tiny woman who can stand her own when need be but I want a real man, someone who can “put me in my place” so to speak. There is nothing sexier than a dominant man…in all ways possible >>wink<<.

Oops

“That awkward moment...” when I eagerly greet an ex while walking with my current boyfriend.  Thank God I’ve got a mature and understanding guy by my side coz Lord knows if the tables were turned I would have walked back and asked to be taken home, without giving anybody a chance to explain.

So as I embarrassingly tell my cousin about the incident she quickly came up with an excuse “ah if he (my current partner) had a problem you would have just told him that you were showing him off”. Doubt I would have thought of that but luckily enough I didn’t need an excuse; I was merely greeting someone I haven’t seen in a while, ex of nie.
(image by Francis Bea http://www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/infographic-social-medias-influence-on-infidelity/)

Oh no

So like my sister and her husband just came back home from a date, now it beats me why they came here when they could have went straight to their place. Judging by the time they came back it must have been fun and usually after a steamy date the next best thing is to have steamy sex.

The problem is my room is right next door my sisters, we don’t share a wall but that won’t make it any less traumatising. Not that it would be my first time hearing them doing the “hanky panky” but I sure as hell don’t want to hear it again.

So just in case I hear one sound… I’ve got my earphones on standby.
Image by: maureenholland.wordpress.com

Frustrated

Ooh how I hate it when guys give me attention when I least want it, such as when I seem to be interested in someone. Like what the... where the hell were you when I was lonely? Aag it’s even worse if it’s an ex...Nigger sit down we are not going there again.

I swear it’s like there is a message on my forehead that says “taken”. I’ve been told that people want what they can’t have but seriously? Some of ya’ll can’t even takes hints to make matters worse. I’m not a rude person but don’t push me. I’m so close to losing it!

when are females most sexually aroused

While watching the television programme “Doctors” the other day someone asked a very interesting question “when are females most sexually aroused?” we all know males are aroused in the morning but when are females. So the gynaecologist on the show replied and said “in the afternoon”.

I went and did a little research on my own through the internet and it turns out that between 06:00-08:00 men have high sexual excitability, while for females it’s around 14:00-16:00 when her reproductive system is prepared for contraception, all this is according to Doctor Komososomolskaya Pravada.

Yet Doctor Pravada also noted that between 20:00-22:00 both sex’s are more than likely to engage in sex as they are both relaxed and ready to go all the way sexually.

So guys during her lunch break, surprise her with a little something something...

Lightning

I have a huge fear of lightning and thunder. I think my fear of lightning began when I was young and it hit right in the middle of the house. Now if that isn’t enough to get any girl scared then I don’t know what is.

The past weekend Midrand experienced a “mini storm” as I would like to refer to it. And I was buried deep down in my blankets while I was there I kept telling myself that I’m 21 now and I cant run to my parents room anymore I have o be strong and stick it out.

I’m so proud of myself for making it. But none the less it doesn’t mean I’m any less afraid of thunder especially with the damage it caused this weekend. In our street alone five trees were taken down and we went without electricity for two days. Now if lightning can do all of that what am I compared to that?

sex while on ur periods

Mother Nature can be really mean if she wants too. I mean for most girls they are horniest before or during their period and what are the chances of one having sex while on their menstrual cycle?

Now I know of someone who doesn’t mind at all. He is the freak of all freaks. Nothing will stop him from getting “laid”, not even a little blood. In fact he says “when I order a steak I never specify if I want it rare, well done or medium rare, so why should I when it comes to a girls virgina?”

Now I’m known for being up for anything sexually but this is beyond me. Truth is I have been caught in such situations but I would never go for it I’m sorry, I’m sure waiting a couple more days won’t hurt. Coming to that decision sure was difficult though my head and body were telling me two different things but I couldn’t give in.

Ladies and Gents (you matter too in this one) would you go for it? Honestly?

I kissed a girl and i liked it

Throwing a big 21^st birthday party seems to be the in thing among young South Africans.  A very close friend of mine entered her adulthood in style by having a night out with friends at a restaurant out in sandton. Now believe me when I say she went all out, guests were welcomed with a shot of any choice and later treated to a meaty platter.

Me being “Miss Party”, her date for the night, I had to make sure I was noticed but not in such a way that would steal the spotlight from the lady of the night. So in true Thlogi style I put on a pair of red bunny ears, which wasn’t so bad considering her dress was black and red.  I have been waiting for this night for months now so best believe I was all moneyed up. But with all that money and so many drinks to choose from, I was feeling a bit tipsy sooner than expected.

Apparently alcohol brings out someone’s true personality, and well for me that would mean bringing out my sexual being.  Nothing new to those who know me but what was very unusual was the fact that I found myself kissing a girl (and I liked it lol). Now I don’t know if I would have done the same in my right sober mind or not.  You can imagine how the guys around us were so excited, so excited in fact they took pictures and of course the more I heard the crowd going crazy the more I enjoyed the activity.

The best part about it all was that there wasn’t any awkwardness about it afterwards. We are still friends and we still have a good laugh at the matter now and again, question is, can we take it any further than just a kiss...

Phone issues

Funny how once upon a time I disliked the Iphone. I just didn’t get how one can “buy”
almost everything on a phone. It sounded even more absurd when the blackberry
was all everyone spoke about and owned due to the BIS. It just sounded
impractical but at the same time I didn’t/don’t like the blackberry either,
every Tom Dick and Harry owns some sort of blackberry so no not for me.

I’ve been without a phone for about six months now and trust me I see the world in a
whole new light now. The issue is not getting a phone; the issue is getting a
phone that I want. So I mentioned I disliked the Iphone because it was
expensive, non user friendly and even more expensive to maintain. But now it’s
all I’m talking about and I’m speaking a whole different story now. I would
actually like to own one. Now I won’t lie I still think it’s expensive and I’ve
got no idea how it works but I think those are the very things that I want it
for. I mean if I can’t use it then majority of my friends won’t be able to
either, meaning my phone will stay on my persons and secondly it’s expensive so
that should say something about me right?

Trying to get this phone has been a nightmare; apparently there is some sort of
shortage in the country. I’ve been everywhere possible- vodaworld, sandton, the
airport, boulders u name it. I’ve even had friends check for me in surrounding
areas where they live. Every time I go enquire about it it’s either out of
stock or they just sold the last one. I was so disappointed yesterday when I
went to boulders application forms and cash in hand ready to purchase the phone
when I was told “the last one had just been sold” earlier that morning.

My whole day was spoilt and I couldn’t wait till I went back home just to vent
about it. I swear just as I walked into the kitchen door, tears rolled down my
eyes. I cried like I had just been dumped, it sure felt like it... Now as if
that wasn’t enough later that night I had to study for a test the next morning
(which I later found out was cancelled) but couldn’t because my eyes were
swollen from the crying and all I did was cry some more, until I eventually
fell asleep.

Now I don’t know if some higher power is tiring to test my determination in getting
this phone or am I just not meant to have it. Maybe its karma because I was
against the phone before but whatever it is, I’m not giving up just yet.

Alcohol Time...

A while ago, a couple of
friends and I decided to go out for dinner, which quickly turned out to be a
party as we ended up club hopping. With it being December and all (tis the
season to be jolly after all), money was no problem because (we all know we
feel entitled to our parents bonuses, but we do don’t we?). Everyone, who knows
me, knows that unlike my physic, my mouth is quite the opposite, so I went on
about how I can handle alcohol and how it doesn’t affect me like most girls.
Having the type of friends that I have they had to see it to believe so we
pulled out the big guns and bought some Courvoisier and Sprite. Now mind you
this is not your ordinary alcohol, which I was soon to discover. I was drinking
it as if it was water; you know trying to show off. And obviously I was drunk
way sooner than later, but I had this on lock down, I was the one who boldly
stated my difference from other girls so I wasn’t about to let myself or my
reputation down.
Now I don’t know if it’s just me but a little
alcohol in the system gets me a bit horny. Just to my convenience or dismay
rather, my ex was there and did a diligent job of keeping my glass topped up (what
a gentleman, hahah). We sat together for the rest of the night and we
reminisced on our past, and then there it was... the same look he gave when we
dated and before. I couldn’t be making this up, not with all the alcohol in my
blood...this guy was still head over heels in love with me! How could I not
give in? Before I knew it we were in the “sack” together. So yes...I might not
be like ‘most girls’ I’m a naughty girl! Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming him or the
alcohol because I know he wasn’t head over hills in love...my blood was
boiling, I allowed myself to be caught in the moment. And yes he lives three
houses away and best believe he uses every chance he gets to remind me of that
night.

Damn but my parents are getting old by 8:15 they were both in bed...does this mean i can sneak out and go partying, i mean the car has petrol, i have the car keys and house keys plus im single what more do i want? hmmmm....someone to accompany me perhaps oh well

Thlogi here 3rd year Journalism student and very excited about this year (for some odd reason) anyway hope i dont bore yall i sure will try keep everything as interesting as possible.
lets get the conversation going!!